Defenestrating Thoughts from the Bivouac

A lot of recreational sports leagues, including my hockey league (GSHL), keep pretty good statistics . For example, you can see my very unimpressive stats on my stats page. Of course, it doesn’t take into account things like what position you were playing; for example, defensemen are generally rated more on plus/minus than on points, but GSHL doesn’t track +/-. Nevertheless, it’s pretty interesting to look at.

So it got me thinking, for players with less than stellar core stats, could we introduce new stats to make them look good? Think of it as standardized test score inflation (like the SATs) or just part of the “self-esteem is more important than education” movement.

Here are my candidates for some stats that should be kept:

• RF (Random Falling) - you get one RF when you fall for no apparent reason
• SR (Skates on Right) - you get one SR for each game that you get your skates on the right feet
• GW (Good watching) - if you were on the ice and watched your teammate make a good play, you get one GW
• SP (Swinging at the Puck) - if you swing at the puck as it goes by, you get an SP
• HP (Hitting the Puck) - if you swing at the puck (SP) and hit it, you get an HP
• NE (Nachos Eaten) - after the game when you go out with the team, you get a NE for eating nachos