Defenestrating Thoughts from the Bivouac

When someone finds out that I play hockey, they are likely to ask, “Why don’t you just have a fat guy play goalie?” It’s a really funny idea, but there’s a good reason it won’t work.

Hockey goals are too big; they are 6 feet wide and 4 feet tall. Even if you had a tall, fat guy lay down in front of the net, there would still be large gaps in the corners. And to cover the 4 foot height, the person’s waist would need to be about 150 inches around (assuming a circular waist). One of the world’s largest people, only has a waist of 110.

Instead you need a smaller, quick and nimble person that can move to cover the correct parts of the net. Also, there’s a big advantage in having a goalie that can skate around a bit to play the puck. That, and the game is more fun when you actually have a chance to score goals. :-)