Defenestrating Thoughts from the Bivouac

Apparently, I have a penchant for writing about toilets — wait, do 2 posts a penchant make? :-P

Today’s post is inspired with my frustration with low-flow eco-friendly toilets. These contraptions are advertised as using a lot less water than conventional toilets. The implication is that this is better for the environment. Of course, this isn’t true in reality: you often need to flush 3 times to get it to “work” properly. Seems like this is more wasteful than useful.

The toilets in our apartment are based on an impressive technology. It uses lots of water, doesn’t actually flush the contents, and often splashes the user. The only missing thing is the steal your wallet feature. :-)

And now all public places have the stupid auto-flush toilets. Originally designed to “simplify” the toilet using experience, it removes the complicated step of pulling a lever  or pressing a button. However most of these toilets flush when you don’t want them to or don’t flush when you want them to. In entire case, it’s bad.

Apparently these sensors have problems detecting dark colors. The early versions of the auto-sinks didn’t work for people with dark skin (like me) and were often called “racist faucets”. This was solved by placing signs in bathrooms that told people to face their palms toward the sensors.

Finally, here’s my auto-flush toilet sitcom idea. Imagine George Costanza sitting on an auto-flush toilet. Then he accidentally drops a ring in the bowl and realizes it’s an auto-flush. There’s all sorts of funny things here: first he realizes what happened, then realizes he can’t move, then realizes he has to move to get the ring, but needs to move really slowly, and then even calls Jerry for help and advice on what to do.

Admit it, you’re already laughing imagining it. :-)