Defenestrating Thoughts from the Bivouac

I really like drinking soda, but I’ve basically stopped drinking it for a couple of reasons: (1) I’m trying to lose weight and (2) I’m trying to avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup.

High Fructose Corn Syrup is used in most foods in America as a sweetener because corn subsidies and sugar tariffs make it cheaper to process corn to make sugar rather than just using sugar.

Since other countries don’t have these tariffs and subsidies, their food has real sugar. And so their food tastes better.

While I was living in Seattle, a friend of mine offered to pick up some pure sugar soda for me while he was in Canada. We texted throughout the day and the conversation went a little like this:

Friend: “In Vancouver, did you want some coke?”

Me: “Heck yeah, I’m sick of what passes for coke in this country.”

Friend: “How much do you want?”

Me: “Um… I don’t want to bother finding other people that want some, just bring enough back for me.”

Friend: “12?”

Me: “Make it 24″

<some time passes>

Friend: “Done. I got your coke in my car”

Me: “Sweet. I can’t wait. I missed the good stuff.”

Friend: “Yeah.. the Mexican stuff is pure too.”

Me: “Yeah, my favorite is in India, it’s as pure as you can get.

<some time passes>

Friend: “I got your stuff past the border guard. Those guys didn’t even have me open the trunk.”

Me: “Yeah you could probably smuggle anything across that border.”

Friend: “Yeah”

<some time passes>

Friend: “OK, you coke is in Redmond, want to come get it?”

Me: “Heck yeah, I can’t wait for it. Party tonight!”

Luckily the FBI agent reading my text message conversation was smart and figured out what we were really talking about.

But still whenever I think of that conversation, I think how lucky I am not to be a prisoner in Guantamo right now. :-)