Defenestrating Thoughts from the Bivouac

Crissy and I don’t drink beer, but we do buy some when we host a party. And then, since our friends know we don’t drink, they bring beer to the party assuming we don’t have any. But our guests never consume more than they bring. Either we have generous guests or boring guests. :-)

So, anyway, over time, our beer stash grows.

Last night, I was cleaning out our second bedroom (the office / guest room / storage room) I realized that we had over 50 bottles of beer. This morning I carried them all out to my car and brought them to work with the goal of giving them away.

As luck would have it, one of my colleagues is having a party in 2 weeks, so she is inheriting all the beer. Yay! 50 fewer things to take to Colorado!

The Internet is a wonder; with it you get to learn all sorts of strange and interesting things. The other day a friend mentioned that I, as a vegetarian, shouldn’t drink Guinness because it has fish in it.

One quick Google search later and I learned that Guinness and other beers use Isinglass, which comes from fish bladders, as a finishing agent to clarify (remove sediment from) the beer. Strictly speaking, the
Isinglass stays on the bottom of the vat, but it’s likely that minute bits are still in the beer.

Wow, I wonder what else is in that glass. :-)

And some more geek humor to tickle your nerdy bone: I present a real engineer’s calculator:

(If you don’t get this joke, congrats! You’re normal!)

“Experts” say that when you open your car trunk to load groceries, you should leave your car doors locked. That way, while you’re distracted putting things in the trunk, no one can sneak into your car.

It sounds good in practice, but I find myself doing the exact opposite. Now that I replaced my old Accord, I actually have a key remote that unlocks my doors and opens my trunk. So as I walk up to my car, I unlock the doors and pop the trunk. This way if I accidentally lock my keys in the trunk, I can open the car door and use the trunk release to get the keys.

Not that this ever happened; I’ve never locked the keys in the car or the trunk (knock on wood). But it seems prudent. The chances of my locking my keys in my truck are much, much higher than some guy sneaking into my car as I load groceries (especially now that I have a job, I don’t have to shop at the sketchy grocery store like I did while I was in college).

Even if it’s 100 times more likely that I lock my keys in the trunk than a guy sneaking into my car, I think it’s worth it. Imagine locking your keys in 100 times; now imagine a random guy getting into your car — whom you will likely see or hear anyway, since it’s hard to hide in a sedan.

Seems like a prudent trade-off. What do you think?

I finally got new glasses. My laziness made me pass up nearly two years worth of eye ware credit from my medical benefits. Google has really good benefits through VSP, but since it’s VSP they have a large collection of smaller providers. So places like Lens Crafters aren’t eligible.

I didn’t think it would be that hard to find nice glasses, but it was surprisingly hard. Crissy and I went to a bunch of stores and everyone tried to sell me the same stupid black plastic frames that everyone wears. Most places didn’t even carry men’s glasses that weren’t variants of the black plastic look. And most of the stores closed at 5 pm and weren’t open on Sundays. That meant we had to use precious Saturday time for shopping!

Yuck. We finally found some nice frames. They weren’t perfect as the frames tilt in towards the middle slightly. Apparently this is the new style or something. The saleswoman claimed that she couldn’t see the tilt, but I think she’s delusional.

I’m pretty happy with the glasses, except that they get smudged all the time. If you just look at them they get smudged!

On the plus side, I discovered that Kleenex with lotion does indeed have lotion in it. If you wipe your glasses with these Kleenex, you leave behind a thin film of lotion on the lenses.

Hmm… they say knowledge is power, but I think the fact that “Kleenex with lotion does indeed have lotion in it” isn’t very powerful. It’s probably just taking up precious space in my brain. :-)

Some of the more amusing (and frustrating) discussions Crissy and I have are about the cultural differences between Indians and Americans. Lately, we’ve found lots of humor in some of the simple linguistic differences. One of my favorites is the usage of the adjective “simple”.

In India, “simple” means humble, honest, easy-going, and a host of other similarly positive adjectives Here though, “simple” basically means “simple-minded” or “stupid”. Obviously a situation that will lead to all sorts of amusement.

Two of our friends from India are getting married and they described their brides-to-be as “simple”; all the Indians listening nodded and the most of the non-Indians looked shocked.

As we cleared up the confusion, we realized that lots of people have had the word “simple” cause tension: from the manager praising an employee (”you a good simple person”) or the father-in-law praising his son’s wife (”I’m glad my son married a nice, simple girl.”).

I wonder what other things like this we’ll discover. (Aside from the pronunciation of “paint”, of course.)

No, I’m not saying I have an incredibly low BMI and have no fat to lose — ahh… if only. :-)

Nope, someone cloned my debit card, got my PIN, and enjoyed a sizable withdrawal of cash. I saw the activity on my account and quickly got the card canceled. Strangely, while this someone was stealing my money at an ATM downtown, I happened to be at the bank opening a CD, depositing some checks, and withdrawing some cash. So, if I needed it, I had a pretty airtight alibi. :-)

Basically, someone installed a magnetic reader on an ATM I used and set up a camera to watch as I typed in my PIN. I’m really careful about things like this and always use bank ATMs attached to their branch; those, in theory, should be more secure. When I mentioned this to the bank, they said that I must have used a random ATM and got myself skimmed.

According to the note I got from the bank today, it was the ATM in the lobby of their branch! That’s crazy! I’m impressed, if I were going to set this up, I would pick some remote ATM, not the one in the bank lobby. Whoever did it is really gutsy. Hmmm… I wonder if it was an inside job.

I guess this means I’m a statistic as an identity theft victim. I’ve never been a statistic before. Not even on Halloween (or Christmas). :-)

Another weird art idea that would work as a standalone piece or in a short comic: bowls with capes.

Why? They are decorations for a Super Bowl Party!

Ha ha ha! <groan>

If I had any skill in painting or illustration, I think I’d love to make a series of ironic art. It would probably be similar to what Gary Larson did with the Far Side; but probably not anywhere as good. :-)

I had a random idea tonight: it would be a picture of a guy who was sitting at a table, drinking milk, and about to read a book. But he’d be crying since he spilled milk all over his new, unread book. The title of the book: “Don’t cry over spilled milk.”

Though given my luck recently, this probably already exists and I just remembered it and figured it was my idea. :-(

Q: Why can’t programmers tell Christmas from Halloween?

A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31!

Ha ha ha! Oh wait, I’m a dork. :-(